That Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.