Must A Aspiring Influencer Pal Cease Using People for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?